One Creative Thought

RX: One creative thought, take daily until the symptoms go away. Find creative suggestions and/or solutions to problems within and without the US.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Tom Cruise's Placenta Snack - Would You Like Fries with that?

Tell me this ain't for real, folks...

Sky Showbiz - Tom's Placenta Snack:
Tom's Placenta Snack

Whatever next?

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are expecting their baby any minute now and it's causing all sorts of speculation.

First, there was the Scientology-inspired silent birth... then there were clues that it might be a girl...

And now, something that some might find rather unpalatable has presented itself.

Apparently, the loved-up star is planning to eat Katie's placenta when baby Cruise is born.
Let's ask the average, western man what he thinks of this idea.

"Excuse me sir, but would you like to share your feelings on Tom Cruise's statement, ""I'm gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I'm gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there.""

"Huh? Eat the what?"

"Placenta - pla-cen-ta - you know, sort of the gift wrapping all newborn babies arrive within? His wife's due any minute now you know..."

"Oh - WHAT? Why in God's name would he eat THAT?"

"He said it was very nutrious, the placenta and the cord."

"ohmygod..."

"Sir?"

"Well - you DO realize this could be the start of something every woman might ask of her man, don't you?"

"No sir, we never considered it..."

"Oh yeah - the doctor not only presents the husband the new member (or members) of his family but says "Eat this - it'll make your wife happy - after all, you want to be HER Tom Cruise, don't you? Here's some steak sauce, salt and pepper and a slice of lemon and lime... and oh yeah, here's a solid pint of tequila... most men prefer it over whiskey..."

"A good point..."

"Of course, some of the seedier fast food joints will run with this too you know... can't you see them advertising their "Double-Decker Cruiser" or the "TC Special". Imagine their advertising campaigns..."

"No sir - please, no..."

"I can see it now... woman struggling to give birth, lots of noise and sound effects too... A spokesperson turns to the camera and says, "It was a difficult nine months, an even more difficult delivery; but she came through okay and the newest member of your family cries her first sounds into the world. Now its your turn - Afterbirth, the meal of real men."

"Well, uh thanks sir for your opinion..."

"Wait - I'm not done! Wait till Saturday Night Live gets hold of this! Or MAD! Or good God above - wait till Fox News, Hannity and Colmes... oh CRAP - wait till O'Reilly gets ahold of this! I wonder though... will CNN come out with an in-depth story? You know, how men around the world have done this for centuries and how its a good thing and..."

"Really sir, we need to move on..."

"Imagine the video rights - I mean, how much would a major news or media outlet PAY to videotape TC eating the first Cruiser? And oh boy - wait till the woman movements get ahold of this... and ohmygod... think about..."

"Right... Okay - thanks again for your comments..."

"Wait!"

"No SIR - WE MUST BE GOING!"

The funny part of it is this...
Well, some people do claim that eating afterbirth can help to prevent post-natal depression.

Although, not if dad eats it rather than mum.

Uhm... I wonder if it would do "mum" good to see dad puke his guts out or run from the delivery room like a chicken with its tail feathers on fire?

Or worse yet, how would "mum" feel as she watched dad pull out a bottle of his favorite steak sauce, liberally coat everything put in front of him on a dinner plate by the doctor, and chow down like some half-starved wolf, all the while smiling at his wife and saying, "umm, umm, good!"

Oh now this story will really go over well with the Scientology folks, don't you bet? "Uhm Tom, about that placenta thing..."

Please tell me it's not real. PLEASE!!!

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